Now I See
by Esther Huffleclaw
Summary: A series of drabbles for the RLt Green Room 2013. "Only light can drive out darkness. Only love can drive out hate."
1. Afraid of Nothing

_The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt_

The slave who dreamed of freedom feared nothing for himself.  
When you can see it coming, you can avoid most anything.  
But then the Jedi came and carried him away;  
He was free, he was strong, he was afraid of nothing.

Still, Yoda sensed the fear he carried hidden deep inside—  
Compassion is a Jedi trait, yet not fear for others—  
He told him he was not afraid, he thought he didn't lie;  
He feared not for himself, you see; his fear was for his mother.

Fear leads to anger...

**A/N: Written for the first prompt for the RLt Green Room 2013. "write a series of drabbles or flash fiction pieces that together tell a larger story. Bonus points if your drabbles are written out of chronological order/follow a nonlinear timeline, or if they aren't plot-compliant with each other but still tell a cohesive story (by sharing the same theme, etc.). The drabbles/flash fictions should each be between 100 and 400 words long."**


	2. Death and Cold

_Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. ~Benjamin Franklin_

_"I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead; every single one of them. Not just the men, but the women and children too…"_

Fear leads to anger

Fear leads to death

Death came for his mother

Death gave him power

Power for revenge

Power to kill

Kill them

Kill them all

All of them are dead

All of them—even the children

Children who had barely lived

Children who were innocent

Innocent he used to be

Innocent he is no more

More pain

More darkness

Darkness closes in

Darkness whispers promises

Promises of power

Promises of comfort

Comfort from his dreams

Comfort for his fears

Fears that he can't save her

Fears that he is helpless

Helpless to protect her

Helpless like before

Before, just like his mother

Before, he was too late

Late at night, he dreams

Late again

Again his fear overcomes him

Again he looks to anger

Anger gives him focus

Anger gives him strength

Strength to do what needs done

Strength to see the truth

Truth that she betrayed him

Truth that he's alone

Alone against his friend

Alone and broken

Broken in and out

Broken, wounded, burning

Burning alive

Burning forever

Forever alone

Forever cold

Cold as ice

Cold and dark

Dark...

Ice...


	3. Now I Know the Truth

_Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated. ~Coretta Scott King_

"Anger leads to hatred," he said,  
And now I know that it is true;  
So many by my hand are dead.  
"Anger leads to hatred," he said,  
And then I let myself be led.  
I didn't want to hear the truth.  
"Anger leads to hatred," he said,  
And now I know that it is true.


	4. Bound by Heavy Chains

_There is no greater sorrow than to recall happiness in times of misery. ~Dante Alighieri_

Long ago, when everything was new,  
Love and passion burnt within my soul;  
My heart burnt brightly like a living coal.  
Nothing else could ever be more true.

So happy to be with her, to be two  
And yet, a third would make our family whole.  
If I could find some way to control  
The fear that somehow she would not pull through.

Now I know my fears were not in vain:  
Today I walk in darkness and alone,  
I hide my misery; I hide my pain,  
I pretend my heart has turned to stone,  
And yet my soul is bound by heavy chains:  
Sins for which I never will atone.


	5. Who I Am

_Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof. ~Khalil Gibran_

Now I know who I am.  
I didn't want it to be true.  
I have found balance in my heart.

Though at first I fell apart,  
Though my life had come undone,  
Now I know who I am.

Now I am Lord Vader's son—  
I always was, but never knew—  
I have found balance in my heart.

I used to dream of greater things,  
Of walking up among the stars;  
Now I know who I am.

This was not part of the plan.  
I've learned that plans need to adapt.  
I have found balance in my heart.

Sometimes plans must needs be scrapped  
And, though I'll always carry scars,  
Now I know who I am;  
I have found balance in my heart.


	6. Balance

_Power is so characteristically calm, that calmness in itself has the aspect of strength. ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton_

There is peace within  
Though all around is chaos  
I am the balance


	7. For a Moment

_Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr._  
_"There is still good in him—I felt it."_

For a moment that stretched into eternity,  
I left the Death Star behind.  
Father and I walked together under blue skies.  
Leia was there,  
And Han,  
And all was forgiven.  
Our family was complete.

For a moment that stretched into eternity,  
I dreamed of a different end.

I let myself believe that it could be true.  
Then I opened my eyes and it fled.

"I wanted to save you!"  
Tears stung my eyes, blurred my vision.  
He lifted his hand and touched my face.

"You did."


	8. Now I See

_Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~Edgar Allan Poe_

I was wrong. I was right. They were blind. And so was I.

I thought that I could save her. I was wrong.

I thought that he deserved a trial. I was right.

They had no idea what he was or what I was becoming. They never trusted me, and yet they never thought I'd turn. They were blind.

I thought he was my friend. I trusted him to help me save my wife. I was blind.

I stare into the darkness and I see the echoes of my soul. I see the end of my dreams.

Now I see.

* * *

_Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. ~Martin Luther King, Jr._

I was wrong. I was right. They were blind. And now I see.

I thought my father died a hero. I was wrong.

When I found out who he was, I believed that I could save him from the darkness, and bring him back into the light. I was right.

Obi Wan and Yoda told me my father was lost and beyond redemption. They told me he must die. They were blind.

Only light can drive out darkness. Only love can drive out hate. I will live, I will love, and I will not make their mistakes.

Now I see.


End file.
